So many people have different ideas on parenting. Good thing about James and I is we have had both. Ive had the REALLY strict listen to what I say and you wont have to learn the hard way parents and James had the best way to learn is the hard way parents. (Granted they werent like that all the time but you catch the drift). Both of our parents were very different in how they raised us! We have had plenty of time to talk about it and discuss how we are going to raise and punish our children and what not. Ive even read a book that my mom gave me that taught me alot that I didnt learn growing up. Like you dont raise your children to be adults to live with you forever. You raise them to be adults to move out into the world and be self sufficient, not depend on you for everything.
When I was very little my mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked. She took care of the house and cooked him dinner and did the housewife stuff. I think I was 8 when they got divorced (My RULE #1, NO DIVORCE) My whole life changed when my parents split. My mom was no longer the housewife/home-maker. She had a full time job and worked. My dad worked and I got to see him once a year (I was in school and could only see him during the summer because he lived in California). As I got older I was given chores to learn responsibilities and if I did them without being instructed I was given an incentive (ususally another responsibility that was a priveledge). Granted I still did stuff to get in trouble.. I always said I "hated" my moms rules growing up and that she was so strict, now I can look back and laugh and tell my mom thank you for being so strict. (Especially after watching those 16 and pregnant shows UGH!).
I was 16 before I got my first cell phone, the cell phone was only supposed to be used in emergencies. The ONLY reason I got one was because I was driving and in case of an accident. I was not allowed to "date" until I was 16. I had little "boyfriends" (in all actuality they were friends who were boys) and everything but didnt "date" till I was 16. And I dated a football/baseball player so I still really didnt DATE! Our dates consisted of practice/game and then kiss goodnight and then home. I did have the occasional weekend dinner and movie but not very often. When I was 16 I also had a job. I worked every chance I could get so I could put gas in my car. Ahhh my first car. A 1985 Toyota Corolla that my mom and dad bought right before I was born! HAH! Yep! Thats right... a 16 year old car for a 16 year old. It was wrecked a couple years before so it had hood pins in the hood and blacked out windows and it was a manual. YES PEOPLE! No automatic for this girl. I learned how to drive a manual car when I was like 11 on the dirt roads in Valdosta Georgia. It wasnt any of this "new" car when I was 16. And I STILL had to earn my right to drive it.
So I was allowed to go out with my friends but ALWAYS ALWAYS had to tell my mom where I was going, who I was going with, what time I was going to be there and be home. And I didnt dare be late. My senior year in high school was not full of parties and fun like alot of kids. Granted I had fun but not partying. I played basketball in high school, ran track, ROTC, Drill Team, Color Guard, Manager for football team, Mat girl for a little while and worked between 20-30 hours a week. I made decent grades. When I was in middle school I made REALLY good grades but got a lil distracted by a boy in high school. Its all good I still graduated with college prep with distinction. (still not HONOR ROLL like my mom would have liked) Yes mom I could have better. Her favorite question when I brought home all A's and 2 B's. "Could you have done better?" I have a sneaky suspicion I am going to be alot like my mom.
I look at kids today and im apalled at how they are acting, talking back to their parents, cell phones at 10 and 11 years old, on social websites, being "in relationships" with others. Im like when I was 10 I wasnt thinking about being in a relationship and stuff like that. I just wanted to make good grades so I could talk to my friends on the HOUSE phone! LoL! Its crazy what society has done to youth today. I can look at it from both aspects now. The child and the parent. I think back to when I was in my preteens/early teens. I wasnt thinkin bout kissing and all that stuff.. Course I wasnt a girly girl either. I played football with the guys. I dont know. Im very thankful my mom was strict. I avoided ALOT of things when I was younger because I had rules. I can honestly say I have never done any kid of drugs, definitly didnt get pregnant when I was 16, and didnt get into any major trouble. Again people parent differently. Alot of things my mom instilled on me growing up I will do the same to my kids, just as James will his. All I can say is if James teaches his son like his daddy taught him my son is gonna be one hell of a man and daddy! "The best thing a man can do for his children is love their mommy". (Quote I heard somewhere)
I PRAY that my kids grow up to be amazing adults who dont take anything for granted and know they have to WORK for the extras in life. That everything wont be handed to them. Do I hope my daughters are like me? Sure if they want to be stay at home moms I would be proud, if they want to go off to college and make bunches of money as doctors and take care of their mama Im ok with that too! I hope James and I can learn from what our parents taught us growing up to help us guide our children to be good adults, husband & wives and good parents. I want them to learn to be kind to others but stand your ground. Dont let others walk on you and tell you something cannot be done. I want them to achieve their goals. And in order to do that I need to GUIDE them in the right direction and hope they listen to me. I wish for my children the same happiness I have in my heart and in my life. That they ALWAYS know that their mommy and daddy love them and each other very much. I wish what every parent wishes for their child. Love, Happiness and Success.
Some Quotes on Parenting I like:::
"Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who tread on their toes". -- Chinese Proverb
"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." ~ Abigail Van Buren
"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." ~Bette Davis
"We never know the love of our parents for us until we have become parents."-- Henry Ward Beecher
"When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents."-- Japanese Proverb
