No words...

I havent really been in the mood to write much.. There is so much going on. I got through another birthday party without my husband here.. I had plenty of family and friends to help. Even an added suprise when my brother, sister and nephew came up to see me. That was a wonderful suprise. And I had 99% of my favorite girls in one place! That was amazing!! I think this is the only time in my life where I have had more female friends than male friends. I had a girls night a couple days ago with my sisters. It was fun. Went shopping for what was supposed to be for them but I racked up a boatload of clothes... which im sure you will see in upcoming pictures as my sister threatened to hurt me if I didnt wear them LOL. And the were NOT tshirts and MOST of them arent black!!! SO that should be FUN and different!! Right now I am full of emotions. Anxious, Excited, Sad, Lonely, Happy, Depressed, Energized, Lazy... and all kinds of other things.... Weird how im a matter of seconds you can go from one emotion to another. I miss my husband so much. I am biding my time until he comes home for R&R and then till he comes home for good. I cant wait to hold him in my arms and touch his face and feel his warmth. His internet has not been working well so I havent been able to talk to him much so that isnt helping ease the pain or help with my patience either. But I know it will soon be over. Thankfully I have amazing friends to help me through it when it gets tough. I have been going over this government shutdown in my mind. Yeah we have money in savings but will it last?? How long is it gonna be if it happens... My husband and his fellow soldiers shouldnt have to worry about their bills being paid and their families being fed and taken care of. I mean they are over there trying to focus on keeping themselves and their counterparts safe. What do other countries think of ours. Our government is talking about "shutting-down". To me that appears to be rediculous. If they KNEW this was coming up it should have been addressed much earlier than it has. I finally heard a speech from President Obama that I could actually AGREE on. SMH I dont do that much, no too fond of a president leading a country and soldiers and such when he has no military leadership experience.. again thats MY opinion. Lots of others feel different. But I think a president who SERVES his country would do better at LEADING his country. Anyways, basically in a nut shell in his speech he said that congress needs to get their sh*t together and come to an agreement so our soldiers and federal employees get PAID. Yes the care of the environment and abortion are very good topics to debate on but right now at this very moment soldiers, and many others affected by this shut down are trying to figure out how the hell they are going to pay their bills and eat and survive... sure some of them get paid back but will the electric company and water company and banks and landlords be forgiving? If so for how long? My soldier is on the front lines of Operation Enduring Freedom and the LAST thing he needs to worry about, the last thing ANYONE needs to worry about is how the bills are gonna get paid. The government is gonna shut down. What if the military shut down. What if the prisons shut down. What if EVERYTHING decided they didnt know how to work together and come up with a budget to MANAGE their money and pay their people.. The United States would not be what it stands for. UGHHH!!!!!!! Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.. HAH! Yeah right.. Nowadays those come with a price tag and well if we arent getting paid you can hang it up.C'mon congress PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON and MAKE A DECISION  But no worries here... I know BigPapa and I will do what we have to do to make ends meet and I would live in a cardboard box with that man and our babies because that my friend is ALLLL I need right there... The love that our family shares. GOD BLESS OUR SOLDIERS! May the Lord ease their hearts and minds so that they can focus on the task at hand protecting themselves and fighting and not have to worry about their GOVERNMENT not looking out for them and their families. May congress get their crap together before midnight tomorrow night (the supposed moment our government shuts down). Dear Congress, I hope you sleep well the next couple of nights, may what the soldiers have to face over seas never haunt you in your dreams. (or maybe I do). Now I will leave you with MY peace of mind. Why I CAN sleep at night and why I CANT all at the same time. My solider, My love, My best Friend and My hero.

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."