Life Aint Always Beautiful

So as I trudge on through these murky waters of life nowadays unaware of what the future holds for any of us I try to be optimistic. Its hard to be happy and optimistic all the time but its what my husband and my children need right now. Someone to come home to with a smile on their face... My bible study has been so convicting and when you begin to realize ALL the things in your life that you need to change in order to feel completely happy in the inside.. I look at myself and thing wow.. I need alot of work. I have tried to stop trying to change other people.. that hasnt been easy either... But the hardest part for me is to love people who have hurt me or my family members unconditionally and unyielding and SHOW it.. This week in my bible study we are learning to replace a critical attitude with love... meh.. its harder than you think and when I read this and evaluate my life in the past it hurts.. I missed out on so much HAPPY in my life because I held grudges and was critical and not letting God take care of the things he wants to. I am getting better letting things go and just being content and happy with everything God has blessed me with. Anyways speaking of blessings Big Papa does not have to have surgery... well not at this point in time anyways. Doc is hoping things get better if it does not then surgery will be possible but until then hes going to continue physical therapy and go through some kind of pain management... Whether it be shots or something different.. I am not sure what. So though a weight has been lifted as far as surgery we are still in the unknown of what the Army is going to do with him now but I have to assume it will be in his best interest. There are so many other things I can write about and talk about and maybe it will help others understand the depths of the pain and dealings that a soldier has to go through when they return from a deployment.. but again I am not sure my husband would like me to freely share. Lets just say they see alot.. unimaginable things that many of us will NEVER see in our lifetimes and wish our precious children will never have to see. Its hard to deal with and let go sometimes.. And if affects some more than others but with supportive family and friends it makes life much easier and LOTS and LOTS of praying.  I hope everyone has had a great week. We have a fun weekend planned. I have some Bridal Portraits I am shooting tomorrow and hubby and I are going to watch Courageous and then its onto Sunday for church (which I can honestly say I am looking forward to).

"Struggles makes me stronger And the changes make me wise And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time   Life aint always beautiful Tears will fall sometimes Life aint always beautiful But it's a beautiful ride."