Monday, May 27, 2013

Not So Happy Memorial Day

Rest In Peace SSG Harley and SGT Rabun!


I read a blog earlier from a fellow Army wife and we both feel the same on this point. HAPPY Memorial Day! Thank a Veteran for their service. You know.. If you think about it, its almost an insult to wish them a Happy Memorial Day and then Thank them for their service. Today is Memorial Day. Though I am sure they think of their fellow brothers and sisters in arms who have lost their lives EVERY day but today is especially set aside for us civilians to REMEMBER them. (We civis need reminding every now and again the cost and the things our soldiers do, yeah sad I know) So how is it an insult. Many soldiers feel the same. A "It should have been me" mentality. Normal for a soldier. They all go over there willing to sacrifice their life. So put yourself in their shoes. Go up to a soldier on MEMORIAL day and they are thinking of those who died. Watching everyone enjoy swimming and cooking out laughing and smiling but in the back of their minds they are thinking of the ones who are not able to enjoy their family. Thinking how selfish of us. Ok sure no one wants to walk around all depressed all day but I can tell you from dealing with a soldier Its ALWAYS in the back of their mind. They do great with puttin a smile on their face and pretending their heart is not heavy for the lost ones. SO when you go up to a soldier and tell them Thank you for your service on Memorial day. Its like saying Thank You for serving and not being dead. A little harsh? Sure. Did I wish my Veteran a Happy Memorial Day. No. I did not. I told him It is Memorial Day. He said I know so quietly. We paused for a moment in silence and I could see in his eyes his first thought was of the two soldier in his unit that were killed, I could see the HURT. Wishing it was him but in the same moment guilty because he is glad it was not him. Thinking of their precious families who are empty without them. So is today a Happy day. Yeah for those of you who have an extra day off to relax because your work week is so taxing that you need a whole extra day to recoup, or a free day to spend at the lake enjoying your family smiling and laughing. Feeling selfish yet? Yeah... I know I am. So what can you do on Memorial Day for those who paid the ultimate price for you. Dedicate the day to the fallen soldiers and their family. EVERY time you see your son/daughter playing, or hugging a brother/sister or watching your spouse hug their children remember there are parents who cant play with their children, spouses who are alone today, brothers and sisters who can not hug. Send a prayer up for the families of the fallen ones that this day be a reminder to be PROUD of their service member. That the burden and heart that they feel today is eased by the presence of a merciful and loving God that their pain be eased in the assurance that one day they may see their loved ones again.

"To all the service members who gave up all of their tomorrows, so I could have mine. THANK YOU"

Thursday, May 23, 2013

No More Fireworks.. And Thats Ok.

So I have thought about writing on this for a week now.. just been patiently waiting for my thoughts to get right. As I have wrote about before hubbs was diagnosed with PTSD. Its not as severe as some cases but its something we as a family are working and learning from. His senses are heightened in situations, hearing, listening and smelling.  We had an Armed Forces Day celebration recently and we went. First thing when we walked in husbands unit was there showing the MRAP vehicles that are used by the military. He had not seen these guys for a while as he is on a no Drill Status because of his injuries sustained while in Afghanistan. He misses them a lot. They are his brothers and they went through some unimaginable situations that you and I will probably never come across. While we were there they tested some fireworks randomly and that really does not help. Not only a soldier with PTSD but any soldier who has been trained for war and been off to war. You hear a pop or a boom instinct will tell you to get down. I mean, It scared me and I have never been in any kind of situation like soldiers are. Hubby did well, He pushed on. All he could say the whole time was "There are SO many people here". He would not let me see his eyes because he knew any inkling that there was something wrong we would make like a banana and split. So we drove on and enjoyed the rest of our day. Then it got dark and the fireworks started. He jumped at every loud boom and the ones that sound like hundreds of pops at one time did not sit well with him. It started sprinkling and the smoke and ash were getting all over us and the kids so we decided to leave before the finale. Made it all the way to the parking lot and the finale. Hubby suddenly stopped and closed his eyes and I could see the distress in his face. He had enough. It was not just the fireworks and I know that. I am sure it was the combination of the heat, keeping up with 4 kids, seeing his battle buddies he had not seen in so long, the thousands of people in an uncontrolled environment, the loud noises that resembled what he was trained to be aware of and stay away from all piling on him at once. An overload of senses the entire day. It had to release and it did. The kids and hubs mom were there this time. It was scary for them. Seeing him in a way that they had never seen him before. He stopped and you could see the hurt and stress in his eyes and his face. I have learned the difference when I need to just leave him alone and let him sort out his thoughts and when I need to step in and intervene. This was one of the situations where I needed to step in. Unless you are a soldiers wife you probably do not understand but they were trained and drilled and lived one way for a year and it takes a moment for their mind to go right back to that situation, to that place. Hubbs and I have something that works and its what we do. I get him to focus on me and feel that he is here with me and our children and that he is safe. Its like immediate immanent danger protection mode that they go into, when they do not have their trucks or their gear they feel helpless and for a soldier even for a man that is stressful. Kind of like when your driving down the road and you hear an old song or smell and old smell and immediately you think of when you were younger when and where you heard that old song first or smelled that smell first. Soldiers are different in the way they go into protective/soldier mode. I do not quite understand it but I am not a soldier I wont. Every soldier comes home with some form of PTSD. Whether is jumping at loud noises or being overly aware of their environment. Its not something to play around with or joke around about. Most can get a handle on it and some can not. Either way if there is a soldier in your life that has PTSD let them know that no matter what you love them, and if they need help that its OK to ask for help. Be there for them and be open minded and understanding. I pushed my hubby to get help but in his own time he has opened up to me about things that happened to him and bother him. I probably know more about what happened during his deployment than most wives know. He knows that no matter what he tells me that I am simple grateful for his safe return home and for him to know that he can talk to me without me pushing him away and telling him I do not want to hear it helps him. So after our day we decided that no more fireworks. He of course feels awful about the kids possibly missing out on it but I assured him that it is ok. We do not have to have fireworks to celebrate days as a family. I would rather the kids see their father happy and enjoying his time and not have fireworks than them see him miserable. When they grow up and they are old enough to understand we will explain it to them. Someone having PTSD does not make them weird or crazy. Just means they have some extra stuff going on in their heads. Each person deals with it differently. Sometimes its scary, stressful, hurtful but if you LOVE that person Do anything and everything you can to help them and be their support system. Too many times soldiers come home with nothing and no one. If there is a soldier in your life, husband, wife, brother, sister, mother,father, son, or daughter. Love them, support them, encourage them. Whether you think so or whether they make you think they don't. They NEED you.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Mothers Day and a Whoopin

My mothers day  was wonderful. My husband was off and home this year for it. I know that does not make sense but My husband is a big part of why I am the mother that I am. I went to church Sunday. That was such a blessing as it always is. I tell you what, I sure am gonna miss that church. Its my home away from home. They had parent-child dedication. Not like a Christening but a public covenant with God that you will raise them up in a Christian home and teach them about God. After that, after the Happy time came the whoopin. Boy if you go to church and NEVER get whooped something is really wrong. Our pastor went on to explain the importance of a mother and her role and the impact she has on her children and especially their spiritual lives. As I have said before hubby and I have grown up in two different types of homes. My house was God says Do and Do Not and in his home it was live and learn and common sense. I am not going to get into comparing moms but they are very very different when it comes to how we were raised and the spiritual environment we grew up in. Of course it would be this way they are two DIFFERENT people. None the less you grow up and you learn what to do and what not to do, what you want out of life and a spouse and your children and what you do not want out of life, a spouse and your children. What do I want my children to see in me and learn from me. I want them to learn to love God and trust in him and fear him. To want to live a life that glorifies him. I want them to see a loving mother that does all of those things and portrays it in her life as well. I want them to KNOW I prayed for them. I want them to KNOW that being a Christian is NOT easy but trusting in God is more important than an easy life. If life was easy it would not be called life it would be called Heaven, but it is hard so it is called LIFE. Being a wife who loves the Lord is easier when you have a husband that loves him just as much if not more. I am so blessed to have a husband who loves God, who wants to please him, who wants to raise his children to do the same. Men like that are very hard to find. My husband and I were in different chapters in our lives when we met and got married. God was not number one but I am grateful that our books have been put together and now our chapters are being written together and God is the binding of our book and HE is what holds us together. My goal and you may call it old fashioned but in Gods word he writes the epitome of a Godly woman and mother.

A Woman Who Fears the Lord
Proverbs 31:10-31

10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

I am also including part of a post that I had not published before because the time was not appropriate but of course this is my blog and these are MY thoughts and feelings. It has a lot to do with teaching your children about God and doing right and wrong and why...

My husband was told growing up that it was a "little voice" telling him if he should or should not do anything. But how does that voice know what to tell you to do unless you educate it. When you let your child go to a friends house and they are bombarded with peer pressure to do something how do you KNOW they will make the right decision. As our guest pastor said last night if you brought your child up to love the Lord and fear the Lord then you know that your precious child knows they are ALWAYS being watched. That God the all seeing and the all knowing is watching them and they check themselves and say God is watching me... I know what I need to do, and do the right thing. Many of us adults are that way as well. I am by no means perfect and if I remember ALL the time that God is watching I probably would not slip as much as I do. If you are truly saved and sincerely meant when you accepted Jesus into your heart he IS there. You will have a guilty conscience when you do wrong. Most of the time you will leave church feeling like God whooped you up and down. I have to admit... I do not go to church for the same reason a lot of folks do not go. I have done wrong and I know it. I do not want to go to a place where I am reminded and convicted of it. No one wants to be told that something they are doing is wrong or that something that they ENJOY doing is wrong. I went a year without touching alcohol, maybe a little longer. I slipped. I messed up. That is the wonderful thing about our precious Redeemer. He is forgiving and merciful. He is in my heart, I know I messed up. I can ask him to forgive me and he does. Let me say this, the Holy Spirit does not convict everyone the same. Some are convicted more about certain things than others. Either way if you are saved you will be convicted if you are doing something that God does not approve of. Well how do you know? Read and Study Gods word, Pray and He will tell you! Trust me. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Birthday 2013!

Revival is this week at my church and I must say, though I missed Sunday morning and Sunday evening I attended Monday night and last night. Can I say blessed. Well, let me begin at the beginning of my day yesterday. It was my birthday. I woke up to already 20+ Happy Birthday posts on my facebook. =) Then it was time to haul the kiddos off to Bible Study. What a precious group of women I attend church with. The sweet lady who does the announcements had everyone sing to me Happy Birthday. The facilitator for this particular Bible Study did a wonderful job. She made me laugh, cry, smile and most of all be proud that I am a Christian woman and that no matter what I have done in my past with God... This girls still got it. So if you ever have a chance pick up "The Girls Still Got It: Take a walk with Ruth and the God who Rocked Her World" with Liz Curtis Higgs. (I will probably do a post on my thoughts of that particular study later). But before we parted yesterday my mom had these precious women who she knows I hold very near and dear to my heart gather around and pray for me and over me. If everything works out I will be leaving my current church and moving to another area. For those of you who really know me, aside from parting with friends and family here leaving this church will by far be the hardest thing I have to do. I have thread so much of that blessed church and these women into my life and into my children's life. All of their prayers I will always remember. I hold each and every person whose lives have touched mine near to my heart. I have bonds with my friends but there is something special about a bond with a fellow Christian who loves the Lord. Anyways, that is NOT what intended this post to be about. I will probably do a "farewell" post another day. (By the way I should probably write the tentative posts down so I do not forget). None the less I went to revival last night and something stood out to me more than anything. It is the PARENTS job to instill the love and fear of God into their hearts. How will your child ever know when they are doing something wrong if you do not instill right and wrong in their hearts. Pastor said something about homeschooling that made me pleased with my decision to do so. I know not everyone feels the same about homeschooling but he made me proud of my decision last night. Pastor Said "My wife and I have very strong convictions about the education and rearing of our children." Someone told him Pastor your kids are gonna grow up weird and un-socialized. He said "Do you mean if we keep our children in Christian education and try to rear them in the nurturing admonition of the Lord that they are NOT gonna be like all the other 14 and 15 year olds (in the majority of society now)? Before you say that it is a bad thing that my children are not gonna act like that you have to CONVINCE me that it is a bad thing" AMEN!! I can not reiterate enough that whoever your child spends the most time with will have the most impact on your children's life. At school 8 hours a day around strange children and strange teachers that you probably have only seen maybe once or twice for brief moments and you see them maybe two or three hours when you get them home to hurry through homework, dinner, baths and then off to bed. Where is the time spent with them. You only have a very short time to make an impact in your child's life and you are busy doing other things.  I am blessed to be able to stay home and home school. Sacrifices have been made but we are still able to do it. I understand that not everyone can. If you don't make sure you are taking the time to spend QUALITY time with your children. Not in front of the TV but sitting down with them. Teaching them right from wrong, because remember your rights and wrongs might not be the same as the teacher who spends 8 hours a day with them not to mention it is NOT a teachers job to RAISE your children its their job to EDUCATE them. My hats off to teachers that is for sure. I have to try and educate and raise three children. They have 100+. I get paid in love and hugs they get paid a stinky salary. Of course that is another post for another day. It just really hit home when the Pastor said that and they prayers that were spoken over me and my family and my children. As parents we play a VERY important role in our children's life. That is our legacy. What our children pass down to their children and so on. What legacy are you leaving your grand children?