Ohhhh Skype!! How I Heart you!!

Soooooooooooo BigPapa finally got internet a few days ago and we have been able to talk on Skype! Yes!! I would have to say that thus far besides my new friends SKYPE is the best thing I have experienced during this sorry deployment. I was able to see and talk to my love while he is THOUSANDS of miles away!! How GREAT Is that!! A-MAZING!! Yes!! LoL! Hes gotten to talk to the kids and spend some time with them... well ya know and I was able to walk him around the house and show it to him. I even took him to the backyard so he could watch the kids play on the swingset!! How super cool!! Gotta love technology. Netbook $300 + Wireless internet $80 + Skype (free)= Getting to video chat with my love PRICELESS!! HECK YEAH! Sorry Im a little excited about it if you cant tell!! <3

Anyways so I enrolled Babygirl into her new school yesterday! She loves it. She also rode the bus home!! Shes so cute!! My big girl looked so little getting off that big ol yellow school bus!! HAHA!! My mom and step dad have been coming over for dinner! Its been nice to have company! They help me clean up after and get the kids ready for be and they leave once its bedtime! It hasnt been as bad as I THOUGHT it was living this close to them!! They have been more help that annoying! Course I have to spend a day with my mom at least once a week or I am lost! Weird but ya know! So far Im LOVING the house!! Course my washer DIED and I need a dining room table and chairs but I think my mamas gonna help me out with that!! <3 If Im a good girl! LOL!

Finally got BigPapa to listen to Gunslinger by Avenged Sevenfold (Its on my playlist on the bottom if your interested in hearing it) The video is a little messed up if you watch it but the song is good. I like it! BigPapa came up with a "special" nickname for me.. Since all my exes have taken the ones he would call me ive been stuck with baby! But now he calls me Sweet Pea!! HOOOW CUUUUUTE!!!! He!He! Hes still my Big Papa!! He been Big Papa since he was 15! Hes been reading!! Can you believe it! Like actual books w/o pictures!! Hes all literatureized!!! Ha Ha but thats cool because I knew my baby is smart! He seems like hes doing alright. Its nice to know that through all that hell over there he has a friend and does manage to make the best of it!I love him and miss him so much!!

Other than that things have been going on as normal... getting back to a daily routine.. now if I can include the gym in there again I would be doing GREAT! Ive been super lazy.. Still have to finish unpacking my house!! LoL can barely walk into my room got HUGE boxes of clothes to unpack!! I will get it done eventually I have to! Got Buttercups birthday on Nov 6th and a babyshower on the 7th! Not to mention my sister is coming into town and staying with me!! YAYA!! I cant wait! We missed her and I will get to see my nephew MONKEY (in her tummy of course)! I just cant wait! Really wish I could see my brother but maybe for Thanksgiving!!! Anyways! Well that is all for now!! Gonna go!!! Ta Ta For Now!!!!!!

Our First House!

Okay it has been crazy busy! Ive been packing and moving and now in the process of unpacking! So I got it all pretty much packed and moving day came around and was hoping for plenty of help... Well I got it!!! So many people showed up to help! My step sister and her man and their roomate, my mom and stepdad, my mother and father in law, a wonderful friend of mines hubby, my sister and her hubby and their neighbor, my newest army wife bestie, my second mama..... I think thats it.. Oh yeah I helped too (a little)! BigPapa called while we were moving too!!! I felt so bad because I know how bad he wants to be here and couldnt, but we both appreciate all the people who helped us move!! =D what a wonderful group of family and friends I have!! Had my first home cooked meal here tonight! Baked chicken, mac and cheese and creamed corn, oh and some sweet tea!! NUMMY NUMMY! Had my first dinner guests, my mom and stepdad joined me and the babies for dinner! It was fun! Its crazy I had people confused we stared moving things outta the apartment and filled up the house!! HAHA!! We stood looking trying to figure out how I got all of it into the apartment. lol! But I did! Very Carefully.I love the house! Its wonderful and big (Well bigger than my apartment) With a yard and all but its not a home yet.. Home is where your heart is.. and well For the next 8 or 9 months my home is Afghanistan! James is doing ook... seemed to be having a rough time with the 2 losses. They didnt have a chance to really sit down and think about it till recently and he was able to deal with it and get passed it for now and they had a memorial for them and it brought up many feelings back and just had James thinking.. thinking about things I think about all the time I just dont tell him! But Im glad he feels like he can talk to me about it. He doesnt want me to worry but I love him and when he isnt here in my arms I worry! But knowing he is ok to talk to me about it all a bit helps me feel better. Anyways, Well thats all for tonight. Loving having a house but missing my heart!

I Keep On Loving You!

As I prepare our little family to move into a house I am packing and as I pack I reflect on the many memories I have had throughout my time here at this apartment, my husband, my children, my family, and my friends. And I begin to feel overwhelmed. Not in sadness but love! I have an amazing husband fighting for our freedom all while still making me feel like an amazing wife, mother and woman, I have three beautiful healthy happy children whom i adore, and my family who have been here through bad days and my regular days (thanks Nick), and my friends (old and new). They say that you know who your true friends are the ones who have stuck around the longest. Only a few of my "old" friends have stuck around for a while.. And I love them ALL with my whole heart.

One thing I have learned since BigPapa left is how much I REALLY miss my younger brother. He is also an AMAZING man! He ALWAYS steps up and takes care of me when BigPapa isnt here.. and well he cant now because he lives so far away. But with that I know all I have to do is make a phone call and he will be here in a flash. I am so excited that my brother and his wife have been blessed with a child of their own. A little boy who will be here in January. (Lil Monkey)! And I KNOW that if he loves his son as he does MY children I know he will be an amazing father. I cant wait to see him and my sister in law again! I miss them so much.

Anyways! So yes we are moving into a house. A little three bedroom one and a half bathroom house!! And I am SUPER stoked to get outta our 2 bedroom apartment. Not to mention the house has a FENCED IN BACKYARD! YAY! Somewhere my kiddos can finally go OUTSIDE and play! =D Still in all this excitement I feel an emptiness. I KNOW what er well in this case WHO it is. But I know life must go on while he isnt here. I can just have our house set up and ready that way when he comes home he can just come home and enjoy his family and his house without having to work. Just relax and BE HERE! YAY!! Im so ready for that day!!! SOON! =D Heaven will be ours again!! James and I have been through SO much and we are still together loving each other unconditionally. THIS too shall pass and we will be in each others arms again!

I Am The Wife Of An American Soldier!!

American Soldiers Spouse Creed

I am the wife of an American Soldier. I am a supporter of the United States Army - an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth. Because I am proud of my husband and the  uniform that he wears, I will always act in ways creditable to him, the military service and the nation he is sworn to guard. I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect and provide for my family in his absence. I will be loyal to my husband and to the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage. I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart for our family and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner. As a soldier's wife, I realize that I play a vital role in my husband's decision to become a member of a time-honored profession -  that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom for which my country stands. No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything, for pleasure, profit, or personal safety, which will disgrace my husband, his uniform or our country. I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier that he can be. I am proud of my husband, my country and its flag. I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrafices made by my husband and by generations of men and women that have served our beloved country. I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom and the freedom of all American citizens - for I am the wife of an American soldier.

‎"Greater love hath no man than this To lay down his life for his friends."

It was a long week. Im relieved to start another one. Two of our soldiers were layed to rest this past week. SSG Willie Harley and SPC Luther "Will" Rabon. These men are deployed with my husbands unit the 1221st Route Clearance Company. Their motive is to find IED's along routes and clear them for convoys to safely come through. SSG Harley and SPC Rabon were killed when their vehicle hit an IED during a mission to recover a down vehicle. SSG Harley age 48 was no stranger to deployment. This was his third tour. This last tour in Afghanistan he was joined by his son Christopher who is also part of the 1221st. He leaves his girlfriend Sarah, a daughter Allison and 4 sons Christopher, Calvin, Desmond and Willie III, a sister Barbara, and 6 grandchildren. SPC Rabon age 32 joined the South Carolina National Guard in 2007. This was his first tour overseas. He leaves his wife Catherine, three daughters Summer, Grace and Trinity, one son Noah, his parents Luther and Martha, his sister Amy and his half brother Kyle. These two selfless gentlemen along with thousands of others gave the ultimate sacrifice for another. Their lives!  May God greet you as you enter the gates of heaven and lift up the families so that the burden they bear will be easier as the days pass. I attended both services for these two brave men and the only thing I can say is that they were truly honored. The cities of Aiken and Lexington South Carolina are very patriotic and they showed it. When I spoke to James on Saturday he asked if they got the honor they deserved. I told him it was indescribable the things I seen, the number of people who attended, the emotions that I felt. I have never felt more proud to know that my husband served with these two great men, but at the same time my heart aches for the families and their losses. I am truly blessed and thank god EVERY day for watching over the soldiers over there. Its hard to come to the conclusions sometimes that God does know what hes doing. He had a plan for these two men. Maybe not to be there physically with the other soldiers but their hearts they continue to serve their country with their fellow servicemembers. Standing next to them in spirit guarding them through their missions. Again I cannot even begin to describe the emotions that were felt at the services, pride, anger, sympathy, fright, worry and so on. To the Harley and Rabon families please know that we are all grieving the losses along side of you. It is a terrible loss to your family, military family, and our country. But we should ALL remember why. Why so many men and women have risked their lives for our freedom. For me to write this blog, for you to read it, for our children to sleep in peace, for us to know that while we are here living our daily lives there are BRAVE men and women who are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, wives and husbands over there ensuring this freedom each and every day! God bless them and their families for their support of them.

‎"For a soldier's honor doesn't end with their death...HONOR becomes their eternal legacy An inheritance left to this earth and mankind Of the blessings of freedom and peace"

I'm gonna hold you in my heart till i can hold you in my arms...

I read a blog this morning, found it through a mutual bloggers blog. Shes a military spouse that lost her husband during his tour in Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan for those that dont know). And I began to realize, as much as this deployment sucks, losing my husband would be unimagineable hell. They have a small child whom he had never met, only through pictures. My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones in this awful war and my heard aches for my husband to be home. But like he said, SOMEONE has to do it. Not many realize the harm these guys are in over there. Everyday outside the wire is a chance closer to something terrible happening to them. Whether IED or an insurgent attack. My husband puts his life on the line next to his brother and fellow soldiers so that we may have the freedom to do the things we choose. So many times so many thoughts run through my head. All the what ifs? What if something did happen? Will my children ever know what an amazing man their father is? UGH! So many questions! But what matters to me RIGHT now, right this moment are my husbands safety and taking care of his children. I will be right here waiting on him when he comes home! =D Anyways on a higher note today has went pretty good. I can feel a cold coming on. Thats not good but hey thats life. Doesnt stop for a cold. Its only been a day since I have heard from James. Told me it will be a while before he does get to contact me again. Course we have no idea how long and i have no idea what hes doing, where he is or any other details. Which is how its supposed to be. Theres alot of things he said to me that just weigh heavily on my heart. Things that he is learning and are bothering that I cant help him with. He said when they tell you that war changes a person it really does. He has only been there for two months and already feels like he is changing. Little things we take for granted here like safe running water, and being able to walk to the bathroom without getting all of your equipment on, being with your family and home cooked meals, little things like that hes beginning to cherish. And I guess i feel guilty because i should cherish those things especialy when i know hes doing without. I just have so much on my mind and I worry about him 24/7. I hope he knows how much i love him and care about him. I do more than anything in this world. I have lost a love once I couldnt imagine losing the GREATEST love of my life, my soulmate! I try not to think about it but again I cant control my brain all the time. Till then i do everything I can to show him how much I love him! I love you James with every inch of my being and my soul. I cant wait till you come home so I can see your handsome face and you take me into your arms. I miss you baby. Be safe and Come home to me soon! Sorry for the sad blog people!! Just thoughts I gotta get out!

Its been a while....

Well its been a while since i wrote something in here.. trying to do the best with keeping it updated.. gonna try at least once a week.. anyways, Things have been going. We lost 2 of our soliders last weekend. God bless them and their families. I cannot imagine the pain they must be feeling. I just pray God eases their pain and continues to watch over our soldiers that are there now. Its going to be a crazy long year that is FOR SURE!!! But it will be all worth it in the end. When my handsome soldier steps off that plane and takes me into his arms and holds me... all the pain of this year will go away. The kids are handling it pretty good! Buttercup turned 1 yesterday! MY how time flies by! Shes walking and trying to talk. My little mini me! Bubba... LOL ALL boy! He loves school. He has his good days and bad days but ya know he is 2! Sam is loving school too!!! Shes so smart.. Almost too smart! ME, well im hanging in. Doin the mommy thing and the long distance wife thing. Think im doing that pretty good. Spoiling my man while hes far away. I have my days where I dont wanna be alone then other days where I would prefer to be alone... I think im in that alone stage.. def just wanna stay home.. there are things i need to do but other than that imma chillax at the house. Focus on cleaning and packing because i will be moving very very soon! YAY!! I cant wait. I have withdrawn myself from alot of people and things to avoid unneccesary drama.. there are some people that it just follows.. I choose to not be a part of it. Especially when comments are made to not say anything to my husband about it. Sorry if you dont want my husband to know dont tell me. He is my rock and my fortress, i talk to him. Just as he does me. So guess what, your little secrets he knows.. as bad as you may not want him to know he does. Ugh.. for someone to tell me to be dishonest to my husband just irks me... =/ but never, i will NEVER be dishonest. For no ones sake. Your secret is not worth lying to or keeping anything from my husband, and vice versa. Anyways! Enough of that. This is going to be a long week. Got two services BigPapa has asked me to attend in his honor to show our familys support to the family of the lost soldier. Anything i can to to be supportive and do for BigPapa I will. I have alot of emotions I am trying to sort out. Alot of people are feeling them but alot of people arent. Some are still totally oblivious and refuse to face the reality of the situation. They will come around. Just as people started to realize that being family is a two way street.. if you want to be in our life you must be involved... not just when you want something or when it makes you look good or benefits you but even in the bad times. This has just been a HUGE rant on and on about things that are bothering me.. call it immature call it what you want. If this post somehow finds you guilty of any of these feelings or you feel like im talking about you i probably am, and your probably not worth my breath talking to about it! So take it as you will, but this is MY blog i will blog about what I want to. You find it disturbing please dont continue to waste your precious time reading it! K THANKS! =D