Just What I Needed!

Okay I am not a big believer in horoscopes they are so general and can easily apply to anyones lifestyle.  Lately I have been having issues with my weight loss.. I have been working out and dieting to the point where I wanna scream and run away with a bag of Oreo cookies and a gallon of milk hide in a corner and stuff my face! Obviously I havent done that but still Im getting pretty discouraged. I look in the mirror and its the same person from a month ago when I started this whole diet and excersize deal. FRUSTRATED!! REALLY FRUSTRATED!! The scale hasnt moved, I dont look different, my clothes feel the same, the only thing is my wedding ring is loose now.. fits like a ring on my finger and not like a corset. LoL So Anyways back to the horoscope thing, I was laying my son down for his nap and I decided to read it. 

"Taurus Jan 31 2011 Change doesn't always come easy, Taurus. In nature, it can take decades to change the course of a river, and hundreds of years to change the shape of a rock. What you would like to change about yourself won't necessarily take an extraordinarily long time, but it will take some time, and it will also take courage. But the change you aspire to now is certainly worth the investment of time and energy. And if you are determined, you will be surprised how quickly you can make noteworthy progress."

 

Something I really needed to hear. LoL! THANKS HOROSCOPE PERSON! So there, someone, somewhere was telling me to BE PATIENT and keep staying determined and working at it and soon it will happen. So Im gonna post a couple pics to let YOU guys see if theres a difference. Sigh... I dont SEE it but thats probably because I look at myself EVERY day! Hope yall have a nice night!!! Thanks for Readin!

 

December 19th

January 22

 

The Sweetest Thing

I dont really have anything to rant about today, Suprise!!! Suprise!!! So I guess I will just tell you the sweetest thing that happened today, almost brought tears to my eyes... ALMOST! Im not much of a crier really... to ME its a sign of weakness... when I could have it so much worse. But anyways. So its Saturday so the kiddos dont have school. Normally Samantha is too shy to talk to her daddy on the computer.. I dunno maybe she thinks its weird but as I was fixing lunch today she actually talked to him. And it was soooooo precious. He was helping her with math. Yep my babygirl is learning how to add and James was helping her allllll the way from Afghanistan. He would tell her to hold up so many fingers and then to  hold up so many more and ask her how much that equaled.. SO CUTE!! My heart melted... Hes a great daddy even from so far away. Some of us have it good to have this kind of communication. ALOT of spouses dont have that and before skype and all this advanced technology all they had were letters and that took probably a month or two to get there. We are definitely lucky. Anyways so I really dont have much to blog about today just that it was a normal day of bumming and hanging out with the kids. I did take them to my parents house to play on the swingset since the weather is getting much nicer!! THANK GOODNESS!! Sigh! I hate cold weather. And on a higher note, this deployment is going by pretty fast. Over halfway done now.. At the beginning I could remember this is gonna last FOREVER and now im like OMG I only have THIS many months to lose weight and work out and get all this stuff done!! HAHA! But thats a good thing.. keeping me busy I suppose. All my working out this week caught up to me yesterday. I went to bed somewhat early, after talking with my besties for a bit, and I passed out and did not wake up until this morning. That is not normal for me.. I ususally wake up every hour and check my phone (subconciously from before James had access to internet and I always waited for him to call LoL). But last night was a niiiiice sleep. I still woke up tired but took a lil nap with the kiddos and im feeling ok right now. Maybe If I get some good sleep tonight tomorrow will be even better and I can be motivated to get some things done. Still not drinking coffee soooo Im doing good with that.. Anyways! Gonna leave you guys with some pics I snuck in earlier of Daddy and Babygirls little math session earlier! Dont mind my desk its ALWAYS cluttered like that! Enjoy! And have a great night!

I MISS YOU!!!

I MISS him! The love of my Life

Okay so I had a moment earlier when I was at the gym. Working out on the elliptical machine and ran across someone saying how much they missed their love..... Its been like 3 or 4 days maybe that they have last seen them... ITS SO FRUSTRATING! To me some people dont realize what it means to MISS someone.. I mean truly, deeply, cant sleep or eat at night for missing them. And on top of missing them worry about them. Its so childish and high schoolish to talk about how you miss someone who lives less than a couple hours away and you havent seen them in a day or two.. I mean REALLY!!! You guys really have NO idea. While your asleep in your bed in your babys arms when you do get to see him there are other peoples significant other going out looking for IEDS, getting shot at, going days without hearing their voice or even seeing their face, having practice just in case the Taliban got STUPID enough to cross the line.. UGH!!! LAME PEOPLE!! C'mon get a grip. My 5 year old knows more about missing someone than YOU DO! Her daddy has been gone for 7 months, he hasnt kissed a boo boo, wiped away a tear, brushed her hair or kissed her goodnight in SEVEN months!!! Try that on for size. And some women do it longer and have done it MANY MANY more times than I. Sigh... (shakes head), I really dont know what to say about that... Its just rediculous I guess... maybe Im being "antagonistic" but I do believe that until my husband deployed I never knew what it meant to miss someone. Maybe you will NEVER have to know. GOOD FOR YOU! But remember while your "missing" your baby after being away for a day or two even a week to THANK A SOLDIER because if it werent for these people volunteering your love would have been DRAFTED! Anyways! Ok so thats enough of that. Had a good workout at the gym, 6 miles again and did a lower body workout. YEP my legs are FREAKING killing me. Came home talked to my love whom i MISS VERY MUCH and took a nap, listened to my Babygirl read a book to me, cooked dinner, settled down for bedtime and im writing this blog. I love to vent on my blogs. Such a relief. Anyways. No Big plans for this weekened just to get some cleaning done and hang out with the babies. Hope everyone has a blessed weekend! 




ME and my Mini Me

 



Bein goofy with my Babygirl



Pictures & Sex

Okay so a friend of mine posted a blog about her and her love, and its been on my mind for a while. James and I dont have hardly ANY pictures of me and him. Its kinda depressing! I mean I can only change my fb profile picture so many times ya know. But she wrote a blog about all her Tissy (kissy) pictures of her and her man which you can read about Here! And im like hmmmm... Im definitly going to be taking care of that when he comes home. LoL! For one its hard to be IN the pictures when you are the photographer and its ANOTHER when you have 3 beautiful children who LOOOVE to have their picture taken!! What a bunch of HAMS they are. So yeah!! Thats one of the things that we WILL be doing.. Sheesh. Anyways so a person who had an issue with me tried to make amends and unfortunatly Im not willing to do so. I let a friend of mine read the whole converstaion to make sure I wasnt ugly at all or antagonisic (ok maybe I was a little) and she said I handled it very maturely , I was not ugly and I made my point. YAY!!! Whew!! I mean I dont wanna be ugly but Im not gonna tolerate people thinking one min they can treat me like poo and then be my best friend in the next minute pass. Ive still continued my workouts and dieting... still havent seen any physical results but hopefully soon!! Im gonna just try and push through this BLAGH feeling right now.. I mean I FEEL better but dont think I LOOK better. If that makes sense...  Okay now onto the second part of my entry title. LoL! SEX!! Oh we ALLLL love to talk about sex. James and I have an amazing sex life.. IDK if its him or me or both.. if you ask him its me if you ask me its him so we will just say its both of us. People sometimes have the misconception that once you get married and have kids your sex life goes down the drain. That its practically non existant... ummm I am not sure where they are getting these ideas but when James and I had our son it got better, then when we had Allison it got EVEN BETTER! Yeah Im sure some of you dont wanna hear about all of this but im telling you its true.. YOUR sex life is what YOU make it. You MAKE time for that person. You make time for your intimacy, it isnt just gonna fall in your lap haha! When you have kids, put them on a schedule. My kids go to bed at 7pm, 8pm at the latest so James and I have OUR time. When he left, nothing changed. I kept them on the schedule I have worked so hard to get them on. (Thanks to my mom! She wanted me to stay somewhat sane so she suggested it). Now that James has been gone a while Im kinda anxious. Just thinking about it gives me butterflies, nauseous!! HAHA! The anticipation of the day he comes home and the thought of how AMAZING it was has me super excited to see how our intimate relationship will be when he comes home!! Probably GREAT! They say not to rush intimacy, im not gonna rush it but im not gonna pretend it doesnt exist and we both dont WANT it! Cuz Im pretty sure I know we do. :oP But people when you get married and have kids dont EVER think your sex life has to SUCK! You might have to work a lil harder to find time and places to do it but that makes it exciting!! Anyways! Well that is all for today!! HAHAH! Sorry for such an intimate blog! Hope yall have a GREAT day!!

Little Clay

Me and My sister Jess!!

The Newest addition to the men that I love is my newest nephew Clay. Jessica is my best friend well shes my sister really. I was in her wedding when she married the sweetest guy a couple of years ago Clayton. For the longest time she wanted to have a baby but he wanted to wait. I remember when she called me and told me she was pregnant.. I almost cried I was soooo happy for her. Well January 21 I was able to be with her in the delivery room along with Clayton while little Clay entered the world. I felt important being in her wedding but even more so when she asked me to be in there when Clay was born. Of course, Naturally I was the photographer but I was also there as her friend. It was a long labor about 13 hours (Im not going to go into detail about it, its her birth story of course) but when he finally got here and I heard him cry tears welled up in my eyes... A new little boy for me to love... My best friend, my sister, Aunt Ca-Ca is a mommy now!! The moment was so special seeing their eyes light up when they looked at Clay for the first time. I knew from the moment I met Jessica and Clayton that they were going to be great parents. Jessica has loved each of my children as her own, she is their second mommy. And it didnt take long for Clayton to grow an attatchment to the kiddos. They have both stepped up so much since James left to help me out and I am eternally Grateful. I am only going to post a couple of pics of my little Clay for their parents are still in the process of posting pics. I am very much in love with all 4 of these guys, some more than others and definitly differently than others. My Heart is overflowing! Welcome Little Clay! Weighing in at 7lbs 11oz measuring 21 1/4 inchest long the newest addition to my heart! <3

Military Monday Blog Hop

Found a new way to meet other miltiary wives who blog like I do!!! :oP Check it out!! Seems like lots of fun! Some of my followers are already on the hop!!!

 

Mess Up My Bed With Me!

If theres one thing about my husband that I miss the most is the time after the kids go to bed. Im no neccesarily talkin about the sex, thats amazing but its the laying there talking, laughing, tickling and just being together. I miss that so much. Him holding me and knowing I was safe in his strong warm arms. This deployment has gone by so fast. Days creep by but weeks fly by! Its crazy to think we are already heading towards the end of the month. I cannot wait until its over. I love being a soldiers wife and supporting him from WAY over here but I wanna be his lover again. To touch him and feel him near. Anyways! So I have watched the first and second movie of Twilight. I dont neccesarily have a "team" yet. Im definitely leaning toward Team Jacob. Hes more my type than Edward. Hes big muscular, tan, nice teeth and young. Yes, I guess you could call me a cougar but I like them young. Hell my husband is almost 3 years younger than me! Yeah crazy I know! But hey thats just how it is. Had to find someone young with alot of spunk to keep up with me. James is much older mentally and emotionally than alot of people his age. Like Jacob he may be young in years but hes older in his ways of the world. But like myhubby said on my facebook the one I would pick is him. Out of the two Twilight guys I would still chose my husband over them. Those guys have nothing on my man! <3 He has my heart ALWAYS! This deployment has allowed me to learn alot of things about mine and James relationship. Good and Bad.. Yes theres bad in there. Somethings that were unspoken by both of us should have been spoken before it blew up. It blew up but it got said and we are ok now. James and I have agree to tell each other everything. Good and bad. Things that happen to him that maybe other wives dont want to know because they might get scared or worry too much. I know there are alot of things he CANT tell me for security reasons but if somethings bothering him that happened on a mission I want him to know he can tell me. He does in a cushioned way. LoL if that makes any sense. I know what he does, I know his job is dangerous, hell just his being there is dangerous much less what exactly he does. And Im not totally oblivious to the WORST that could happen. Its happened to two families just in our unit already. I dont believe that the other wives dont want to know because they cant handle it, but Im sure its not something the need added to the stress to their lives in addition to dealing with their soldier being gone. My husband is my best friend. We tell each other everything. No holding back and we have always been that way so why make the deployment harder and keep things from each other? Do I worry, of course I worry. Do I let it consume me, no but sometimes I cant help it. I look at my babies and wonder what ifs... but you cant live life on the what ifs. I want my husband to know that I am here for him NOW. Not when he comes home we can talk about whats bothered him over there, I dont know im different I guess... Somethings I dont wanna know like gory stuff but if something happened and he needs someone who loves him to talk to then he knows im here! No matter what it is. I may not like it but thats what I am here for. Well thats enough of my ranting for today! Hope all yall have a nice night. Gonna try to watch Eclipse tonight then I will be caught up with all the Twilight fanatics!

Freedom isnt Free! So many give the sacrifice each day so that you may go on about your lives. Support Our Troops!
God Bless and God Speed. Come home Safe and Soon!

In Your Dreams, My Dreams Come True!!!

So James sent me a message the other day and told me about a song that reminded him of me. Josh Turner "In Your Dreams"! (Of course its the song that is playing as you read this blog) Its a good song. Im not a HUUUGE fan of country, especially since James has left but I listened to it. When I think back 10 years ago and I think about what my dreams were then... well it wasnt the life I am living now. Unlike James who has known since he was like 10 that if he did ANYTHING he would have a wife and children. Well he does. When I was younger I wanted to actually join the military. Not be a military spouse. I wanted to travel the world and I DID NOT want ANY kids.. Well.... things happen for a reason and I think back to when I was 16 and had these dreams but I couldnt imagine my life any place else. Call me unrealistic but ya know being a stay at home mother and wife is an amazing dream. Someone once said that being a stay at home mom and letting the man make all the money and pay the bills is far fetched, that its unrealistic that in todays society a woman needs to work to EARN her keep by working... HAHAHAHA!!! What an IDIOT!! I could probably bet a year of his salary that he couldnt do my job for one month without BEGGING someone for help. Granted yeah, a stay at home moms job is easier when the husband is home at some point to help but thats the fine print you dont read about stay at home moms, we are moms 24/7/52/365. And sure we dont have a HUUGE house with brand new cars, or wear name brand clothes, have lots of high tech gadgets and we struggle from time to time but what we DO have CANNOT be bought. Many people make tons of money and have "things" and still will NEVER EVER have what James and I have with our little family. One of my best friends has always wanted to be a stay at home mom and the relationship she had a while ago didnt work out, he didnt want that I guess.. wanted her to work so she can help pay bills or whatever. Well shes married now and has children and shes gonna get to be a stay at home mom and I couldnt be more proud of her for making her dreams a REALITY since they were so called unrealistic. Oh well. Anyways. Back to my dreams!! I am definitely living a dream. I have 3 beautiful amazing children and a husband that LOVES ME! Still looks at me like he is more in love with me today than he ever was. I am truly blessed. Yes when my youngest goes to school I plan on either going back to school or going back to work but until then my full time job is WIFE/MOTHER! I wouldnt have it any other way. So thats enough on that rant. I have been dieting and going to the gym. I am getting so discouraged because the scale isnt changing and I dont feel smaller or different. Im trying to get past this feeling but its kinda hard. Just frustrated. I dont weigh myself everyday because I dont WANT to get discouraged and I still get bummed when I do once a week. :-( Oh well! Just gotta keep pushing on. a little less than 3 months till James comes home for R&R! I cant wait. I will be picking him up from the airport and we will be staying a hotel that night. the next day we will pick the kiddos up from school and spend that evening just me him and the kiddos and on the 3rd day people will be "allowed" to come over! James has made it perfectly clear that he is NOT running all over town and out of town to see people. They know where he lives, if they wanna see him they are more than welcome. Course there will be a curfew. HEHE! 8pm everyone has to be gone with the exception of maybe one or two days. But 8 is the kids bedtime and that will be OUR time! There will be ONE place he will be leaving to go and thats to Florida to see his brother. I cant wait. We might take the kids to Sea World or something like that. And I cant wait!!! I cannot wait to have my man home!!! This deployment has been tough buuuut its gone by alot faster than I expected and its ALMOST OVER!! Skype has definitely helped us along the way. Getting to see his face every now and then has been such a blessing and we take full advantage of each moment we have. Less than 3 months till R&R and Less than 5 months till hes home for good! (This time). Hope everyone has had a great weekend!!!!

Bradley Taylor Thornton

I think Ive tried to start this blog entry about 100 times since I started blogging. Its a tough subject for me as well as for many other people. 2002 and 2003 was a terrible year for teen drivers. Many teens lost their lives for reckless decisions. Unfortunately I was directly affected by this along with many others. Bradley was one of my best friends in high school, and at some point our relationship went beyond friendship, although we never made it official, well at least not technically. VERY few people understand the relationship that Bradley and I had. Luckily the most important people do and that includes my husband because he was friends with both of us. I had been dating a guy for a while and then Bradley and I started talking. Course I was back and forth because I was comfortable with the guy I had been dating and did not want to hurt him by breaking up with him. Well he went off to college my senior year and Bradley and I became very close that year.  We spent most of our spare time together. He was the first person I got into a car accident with. Funny huh? I rear ended his car. His mama said I was trying to check out his rear end but he didnt go when I thought he was gonna and wham. Yep, pulled off to the side of the road I was hysterical and his mom showed up hugging me and the cop asked if she was my mom. I said no shes his and the cop laughed. So of course my mom was furious when I got home. When Bradley called he talked to my mom. The only thing Brad was worried about was if I could still go to the movies with him that night! (Luckily I could). We went to dances together and went to the fair together. Alot of good times. A friend of mine and I would take his car while he was at football practice and get food from Sonic. Course he ALWAYS found out because I never put the seat back but he didnt care. If you would have asked me then I was gonna marry him and we were going to join the Air Force together and travel the world together. "Our" movie was Remember the Titans. He looks sooo  much like the guy that played Gary Burtier. The lips and the smile even the way he was built. So he called me his sugar and he was my superman. Well Long story short my ex proposed and I said yes so that ended the whole Me and Bradley thing. I know how selfiish is that. I was very much in love with Bradley but my fiance was who I was settling with because him and I had been together for so long. I loved him but wasnt in love with him... he was my first... well alot of things. Anyways. This blog is not for him. Two weeks after graduation I got a phone call at around 8:15 am on June 8th, 2003. It was his mama Ms. Kris. She told me he was in a car accident and was killed. I was shocked... speechless.. she explained to me what had happened. It was late Sat. night June 7th Bradley and his friend Keith were passengers in a car driven by another teen driving too fast. It had been raining so the roads were wet. The sheriff's dept. estimated her speed to be 70-85 mph in a 45 mph zone.At around 11:30pm the driver lost control going into a curve on William Few Parkway in Appling Georgia. The car slid sideways over 265 ft. slammed into a tree, spun around up an incline and caught fire. Bradley and Keith died in the fire. Bradley had 10 broken ribs and mutiple internal injuries, Keith had no injuries. We only pray they both were unconsious at the time. The driver walked away with only minor injuries. The driver was already breaking the law by having passengers in the first 6 months of having a license. She only had her license 11 days. It was tough for me... I remember arranging his memorial for his mom. Setting up the music, picking the songs, finding pictures. The part that stands out most in my mind was when the memorial started I was standing in the back of the funeral home. His mom took my hand and sat me next to her younger son Gregory. I was part of the family. My heart melted and broke all at the same time. I can remember little Gregory (who isnt little anymore LoL) reaching over and held my hand. It was a nice memorial service. I spoke (with the help of a friend who held my hand), football coach spoke, they played taps for when he was in JROTC. It was all in all very nice. Im not sure of the words to say that would do him or the way I felt about him justice. It took me a very long time to come to terms with my loss. I threw myself into to work, I broke up with my then fiance. I went on a beach trip with my husband and his family (when we were just friends) that summer. Good choice to.. he helped me unwind and let me know everything is gonna be ok. I moved away to minnesota and when I came back I was still not able to totally grasp the fact that he was gone. I seen a therapist to help me sort out so many feelings I had. Bradley has been the reason it has taken me years to completely love someone like I did him. I do now of course but it has taken a while and took breaking down some walls. Always afraid to love someone that much to have them taken away from me in a moment. But I know now at the end of the day my angel is watching over me. And for that I am blessed. Here are some pictures...  Sorry this is so scattered I just had to get something out. I miss him alot and love him very much still. He will always have a special place in my heart. I love you Superman!  

When I said I do....

Okay so I have to admit Ive been wanting to do a post of my wedding for a while since I dont have any pics on my facebook from my wedding to share!! I will post some pics from my batchelorette party at Coyotes and then some honeymoon pics in Pidgeon Forge/Gatlinburg after! <3 April 22, 2007 I promised to love the most amazing man that I would love him for the rest of my live. Almost 4 years later I am more in love with him than I EVER was! He is my whole world. He is my everything. The day started out with me and the girls spending the morning in the salon. It was a fun time. Got my hair did and my makeup professionally done and I loved it! Course by the time we ALL got finished there we had to rush to the chapel. Course I was freaking by then because I thought I was gonna be late (which they cant start a wedding without the bride so I technically wasnt late) and I wanted to make sure James didnt see me! He knew I was there. He was already at the chapel and I rode with my stepdad in his Corvette. That was the longest ride to Aiken EVER! It was very quiet. I think he was just as nervous as I was. Anyways so I got ready and all my fav. girls were there. My wedding was small and simple and it was straight to the point. We arent big flashy people. Hell if James had it his way we would have gotten married at Gordon Park Speedway on the dirt track. So after everything was ready my (step) dad came in and said it was time. Instant nausea, my stomach hit the floor. I was about to take the next biggest step in my life and I was gonna be STUCK with him for the rest of my life! Was I sure? Was he sure? Was my family happy? Was his family happy? WHO KNOW! I walked out of the dressing room around the corner and in that very moment, when I seen my future standing at the end of the aisle I knew. YES! This was the greatest decision I have ever made to marry this man waiting for me. I walked down (with my dad telling me to slow down) to meet my groom with a big ol grin on his face! As we said our vows (above the sniffles that were going on behind me) we promised we would love each other through sickness and in health for long as we both shall live. When James looked at me and Samantha and he told us he would love US for the rest of his life my heart melted. Before the preacher had a chance to finish asking James if he took me as his wife he had already said I do. When the preacher turned to me and asked me to take James as my husband a tiny little voice from the bottom of my dress said I do (I was so glad Samantha approved)! We went on to have our reception in the reception house next to the chapel/gazebo where we got married. We danced our dances and cut our cake. Smashing it in each others faces! It was lovely. Our friends and family were there celebrating the best most important day of our lives and I couldnt be happier today. We have a happy marriage, 3 beautiful children, a home and nothing else really matters much! But enough of the blah blah. Heres some pics!! ENJOY!!! :-P



James & Nick at Hooters



Jello Shooters




Buttery Nipple with my bestie




Me & My future mother in law (yes we were toasted)




Me & my Matron of Honor




Nuff said!




Yep I was havin some fun!




My last single spanking




Oh yeah Shes HAWT!! I love my sis Jess!! <3